Lazy Cat (Mocha)'s "My Day" (Episodes 1-5)
(Episode 1) "The Philosopher on the Sofa, Mocha's Languid Day"
Hello. I am Mocha the cat. I am the owner of this house, its king, its philosopher… and at times, a piece of interior decor. Many humans ask me this: “Mocha, what on earth do you do all day?” So, I’d like to take this opportunity to explain. My day is very systematic, deeply philosophical, and above all… lazy, haha.
1. The Morning Doesn't Exist At 7 AM, the human scurries about. An alarm rings, footsteps hurry back and forth, and the smell of coffee fills the air. But I do not move a muscle. The First Article of Cat Philosophy: ‘He who moves first, loses.’ (Pahaha!) Any attempt to wake me with mere sunlight is futile. I wait for only one signal. ‘The sound of something dropping into my food bowl.’
2. 2:59 PM, My Forward Base Finally, the human's alarm rings. At this moment, I give a slight flick of my tail and rise to stretch. Nothing in this house is as elegant as my stretching. I extend my front paws long, open my mouth in a yawn, and move slowly... languidly... ever so slowly.
That is my 'waking ritual.' For the record, the moment the human says, "You're so cute~" I turn away with philosophical disdain. Emotional manipulation harms a pet's self-respect, you know.
3. 3 PM Sharp, The First Meal The sound of kibble hitting the bottom of the bowl. "Clink!" In that instant, my eyes snap open. As I gaze at the food the human has so carefully poured, I think to myself: “This brand again… Truly the food of one who fears change.” But I eat. Because I am a philosopher. And a philosopher knows well that no ideal takes precedence over hunger.
4. Post-Meal Routine: Return to the Sofa The sofa is my throne. After emptying my bowl, I proceed silently to the sofa. And what if the human is sometimes sitting there? I send a look that says, "That's my seat, you know." 99% of humans get the hint and move, but 1% remain seated. In such cases, I sit right next to them and initiate the 'torso push.' Silently. But firmly. In this house, power is wielded without words.
5. Why Are Humans So Busy? The human is always busy. Sitting in front of a PC, holding a phone, trying to pet me. I watch this spectacle in silence. Sometimes I even wonder: “What on earth are they living for?” And the conclusion follows immediately. “...Ah, right. They’re the one who gives me treats.”
6. The Day Has Just Begun Today, once again, I've begun my day slowly, but with purpose. I shed a clump of fur on the sofa, not forgetting to mark my territory. Everything is perfect. Everything is under my control. With the sole exception of the human's nail clippers. (That's cheating.)
🐾 Mocha's Philosophy Summary
The world begins in the afternoon.
Sovereignty lies where the food is.
Cuteness is a weapon, but it must never be overused.
Laziness is not a sin. It is a way of life.
🔜 Coming Up Next Episode 2: "Mocha the Window Watcher, A Deep Contemplation on Birds"
Why do birds fly, and why can't humans? And I… why am I so sleepy?
